Welcome to the Machine

Hello everyone. Welcome back. I apologize for my last couple posts being about how long I’ve been gone and hollow promises of getting back to this blog. Life has threw a couple wrenches in my gears lately, but I’ve been working hard to get all those cogs freed up and running smoothly. I could tell you all the sad, frustrating, hair pulling, banging my head against the wall stories that have kept me away from this blog and many things in general, and I might, but not today.

I know, as well as anyone, that life can get in the way. It’s a machine. It keeps chugging along, regardless of the parts falling off, needing greased, or repaired. It is a machine to be admired for its unwillingness to quit, regardless of how it falls apart. People are much the same. That is how I have felt lately, like a machine in need of a serious breakdown and rebuild. But I don’t have time for that, so I make small repairs where I can – on the side of the road, in the rain, in the gas station parking lot – because on this journey, you don’t always have time to stop. You have to evaluate the priority parts and make sure you keep those on par, everything else? Well, it just depends on where it is on the priority list.

Sometimes we think certain parts of the machine are important when they really aren’t. That is a problem. It leaves us blindsided when a part that is actually important blows up. This has happened to me a few times lately. So, I am trying to shave off some unnecessary parts and focus on the core of the machine. Because unfortunately, when some of those really important parts blow up, there’s no fixing them or replacing them. You  must simply move on without them and readjust the way the machine works.

In my re-evaluation, I have decided that I have neglected some major components of my machine called life for far too long. And I have lost some parts that cannot be replaced. So, I am changing the oil, lubing the chain, changing the air filter, and moving on.

When is the last time you re-evaluated your life? There is never a bad time to sit down and make a list of the people or things that you love but haven’t seen or done in a while. Our excuse is usually that there isn’t enough time right now, I’ll do it later. I promise you that the most important thing you can do is make time. Right now, before your machine blows, locks up, and leaves you stranded with a part that you’ve lost and cant’ replace. As a quote by Buddha says, “The problem is, you think you’ve got time.”

As my favorite band, Pink Floyd, says, “Welcome to the machine.” Be sure to take care of yours every once in a while.


 

“Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels that couldn’t make a decision.” – Anonymous

“We travel because we need to, because distance and difference are the secret tonic to creativity. When we get home, home is still the same, but something in our mind has changed, and that changes everything.” – Anonymous

“There is a kind of crying I hope you have not experienced, and it is not just crying about something terrible that has happened, but crying for all of the terrible things that have happened, not just to you but to everyone you know and to everyone you don’t know and even the people you don’t want to know. A crying that can not be diluted by a brave deed or a kind word, but only by someone holding you as your shoulders shake and your tears run down your face.” – Lemony Snicket

“Until we are ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.” – Lemony Snicket

“February is the shortest month of the year, so if you are having a miserable month, try to schedule it for February.” – Anonymous

“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.” – Lemony Snicket

“There’s a history of heartbreak, Tucked in the creases of her eyes, A museum of the moments, That she’d watch just pass her by, And each tear that escaped her, Held the things she’d left unsaid, So the words she’d never spoken, Stained her dampened cheeks instead.” – e.h.

“I think there are two kinds of forgiveness, the kind that when you forgive you’re also giving then another chance, or the kind where you forgive, but move on without them. Use them both wisely.” – s.b.

“You told me that you had my back, And I thought that it was true, Now my shadow’s still behind me, But where on earth are you?” – e.h.

” ‘Love me slowly,’ she whispered, like the love I had for her, had limits. Like it could run out as easily as a grain of time. I could tell, by the sound of fear in her lungs, that she had a terrible past. The kind that no one talks about, the kind that remains bottled up inside of you, slowly and quietly, killing everything in your bones.” – Christopher Poindexter

“There is no statute of limitations on starting over. Re-invent yourself every day. Be the girl who walks barefoot and listens to the blues. Tomorrow, wear a trench coat and speak fierce truths. Be a phoenix. Be ashes. Burn down. Resurrect. Let go of the idea that you must always be who you have always been.” – unknown

“If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet.” he said. – Rachel Wolchin

“Le beau est toujours bizarre. (The beautiful is always bizzar.)” – Charles Baudelaire

“She wears strength and darkness equally well, the girl has always been half goddess, half hell.” – unknown

Photo 101 Day 1: Home

I decided to try to get myself back into the swing of blogging by signing up for Photography 101. Today’s theme is home. I’ve already written about Home in one of my Writing 101 assignments and you may feel free to read it if you want to know my feelings on home. But this is just Photography 101 so here home for me. It’s new and still doesn’t feel like “home” but here’s hoping it will soon.

C__Data_Users_DefApps_AppData_INTERNETEXPLORER_Temp_Saved Images_ld8a9ca44-m3xd-w640_h480_q80

Writing 101: Day 5 – Social Media Inspiration

I apologize for this post being a little behind. The boyfriend and I took a much needed night out last night and went to a great concert at the Masquerade in Atlanta (the Reverend Horton Heat!) and it was 2 a.m. before we got home :-o. Then, we’ve been moving stuff all day and tonight is the first night in our new house!

Moving on. Writing 101 is all about pushing your limits, your comfort zones, and opening up new ideas for you. They have tasked us with finding inspiration in social media (Twitter) to be specific. To keep those of us who don’t have a Twitter from having to get one, they provided us with five tweets to choose from.

I chose this one:

I’ve talked a lot about home before. Obviously it’s a subject that’s close to the heart for me. I’ve learned that you can find home no matter where you are. It’s a feeling that comes from anything – places, people, songs, ect. You ever meet someone and you feel like you’ve known them all your life? Or perhaps you met someone who made all the chaos in your world just freeze?

That, my friends, is what it feels like to be at home. Home can be a person. Someone who makes you comfortable in your own skin and makes the time fly by when you’re with them. Home can be your family, or maybe not. Sometimes we feel the need to impress our family and so we don’t quite feel ourselves around them. Home can be the family you choose, perfect strangers, or a significant other. If you’re lucky, your home is you.

No one should make you feel more at ease in your own skin than you do. You should know who you are and be ok with it. I know, first hand, that this is not always the case. I’m an introvert, so I value solitude and I’m fine being alone with myself. However, when I get around others, that’s no longer the case. I am no longer home. So, if you are one of those lucky people who is your own home, no matter what, please count your blessings.

However, if you are like me, and you are not your home, that’s ok. You will find others who will be your home. Hold onto them and let them know how important they are to you. But don’t stop working on being your own home too.

“You’ll meet only a few people

in your whole life

who are truly abandoned houses – rundown, worn out, collapsing

at the seams.

I’m not asking you to take a hammer

and nails and pin up their rafters,

fix their leaky faucets

or put new panes of glass

in their broken windows;

I am asking you to simply

open their door,

and spend a little time memorizing

their floor plan.

Get to know them.

And when the time comes, I want you

to draw back their curtains and, once and

for all,

let the light in.”

-(writingsforwinter) http://live–simply.tumblr.com/post/35309898709

Writing 101: Day 3 – One Word, Endless Stories.

Today is Day 3 of Writing 101. Our assignment is to use a single word (out of six possible choices) to inspire a story. The fun part is that we could all choose the same word, and for the most part, none of our stories would be the same. All of the words make me think of different things, and perhaps I should start a Prompt Box for those days I really want to write but can’t think of anything to write about.

Getting back on track, on to the actual assignment. I’ve decided that, in light of recent events, the word home currently holds inspiration for me. Out of the list of six, it jumped out at me first, and you know what they say. Go with your gut. I’ve added a playlist with some of my favorite songs about home. Please feel free to add songs to it via Spotify (as it should be a collaborative playlist)

spotify:user:wolfchild78:playlist:0c7TdiUV8cvtGMCYqUw8k4

Home. Such a small word to cause so many feelings. Everyone has something or somewhere they visualize when they hear the word. It’s instinctive. You can’t help it. For me, I discovered at a young age (yes, yes, I know I’m only 24 and that’s still very young) that home can be more than a physical place. It can be a feeling, too.

First, the house. For me, the building has changed 4 times in my 24 years. I don’t have anything to base it on, but I’m gonna say that’s not too shabby. My first house will always feel like home the most, I think. It’s where I was brought home from the hospital, where I learned to walk, and it was built with love. It’s a three story log masterpiece. My dad, uncle, and grandfather leveled the land (on the side of a mountain basically) and built the house. It had open cathedral ceilings, exposed beams, and was the kind of place that most people dream of. It’s been changed since we left. The beautiful plush carpet ripped out, more rooms added, and my mom’s beautiful climbing roses cut down. It’s still there, though, and every time I drive by it, I get a homesick feeling and can only hope that the people who live there now love it as much as we did.

house

Home, for these last 24 years, has always been my bedroom in my parents’ house. It’s been my base of operations and my hide-away from the rest of the world.

e798c83ea0f1df5d943fdd7a154dda7c

I have always known that, no matter where I go, I will always have home to go back to. It’s safe and it is secure. I love travelling. As I’ve mentioned before, my parents have always shared their wanderlust with us. However, after about a week, (or less, depending) I just want to go home. It’s my cocoon of comfort and I always start to feel out of sorts if I’m away too long.

No-Place-Like-Home

Home (both the people in it, and the house) are both changing for me. It’s the first major change in years. My boyfriend and I bought a house. I’m growing up, and it’s bittersweet. If you had asked me at 18, there was nothing I wanted more than to move out of my parents’ house and have my own space and my own rules. But a lot has changed since then. My parents are getting older and their health isn’t the best. My brother and his wife just moved in (without asking my parents) and don’t help at all. Quite the opposite actually, they just take and take and take from two people who have nothing to give. I am afraid to leave my parents to the leeches. The feeling of being wrapped in their arms will always be home to me. But home also now includes the home I am making with my boyfriend.

I’ve also felt a sense of home in different places. I love solitude and places that inspire them. National parks feel like home to me. They are quiet, beautiful, and remind me of happy times with my parents. I love standing on the edge of a mountain, beautiful overlooks, and quiet forest trails. Wide open, clear, crisp starry skies also make me feel at home.

It’s funny how one word can cover so much. It’s people, places, and feelings. It’s different for everyone, but we all have one. Not even the homeless are truly homeless.

What feels like home to you?