Where’s the Love? – Why My Boyfriend and I Don’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day

Welcome dear readers! This is gonna be a short, personal post followed by some love quotes since today is Valentine’s Day! Now, I know you may be thinking, but the title says you don’t celebrate it. And you’re right. We don’t. But hear me out.

Valentine’s Day is a largely corporate holiday. It just it. It has deeper roots, but honestly, can you name them? Probably not. Because now it’s all about how much a guy does for his lady. Send flowers to her work, get her chocolates, plan a fancy dinner. It’s like a competition for who does the most for their lady. And I’m not ok with that. I know some girls who have broken up with their boyfriends because he either didn’t get them anything for Valentine’s Day or didn’t “do enough”. Seriously? What did you do for him for Valentine’s Day? Nothing. But I digress.

The boyfriend and I don’t celebrate it. I do NOT want to be part of this “competition” it creates about who buys more or does more for their significant other. It’s not ok. And I would much rather have many small random acts of love through out the year than one day of large gestures that he feels obligated to give me because of social norms. Sometimes, just when I feel like he’s getting away with not  doing any gestures of love, he surprises me with something small that just reminds me that he thinks about me more than I give him credit for. And I try to do the same for him. Sometimes it’s just bringing home his favorite candy bar when I know he’s had a rough day at work And to me, that’s what love is. Small, every day gestures. Not one day filled with large gestures. But, to each their own.


 

  • “I was waiting for the longest time, she said. I thought you forgot.     It is hard to forget, I said, when there is such an empty space when you are gone.” – unknown
  • Stardust – “If you came to me with a face I have not seen, with a voice I have never heard, I would still know you. Somewhere between the sand and the stardust, through ever collapse and creation, there is a pulse of you and I. When we leave this world, we give up all our possessions and our memories. Love is the only thing we take with us. It is all we carry from one life to the next.” – Lang Leav Memories
  • “What a sad thought it is, that some of us will surrender and settle down long before we have met the person we are supposed to love.” – Beau Taplin The Pressure
  • “I know I’m not easy to love. I’m a chronic over-thinker, I overreact more than I should… And every once in a while, I might be a little insecure. But if I am in love with you, I can promise you wholeheartedly that you will be loved with so much passion and intensity that you’ll forget what life felt like before I came along. You will always be cared for and you will always have someone in your corner. Maybe I’m not the best at being loved – but I like to think I’m pretty good at loving.” – Chelsea Carroll
  • “People don’t like love, they like that flittery flirty feeling. They don’t love love – love is sacrificial, love is ferocious, it’s not emotive. Our culture doesn’t love love, it loves the idea of love. It wants the emotion without paying anything for it.” – unknown
  • “Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.” – Nayyirah Waheed
  • “I can say with great certainty and absolute honesty that I did not know what love was until I knew what love was not.” – P.T. Berkey
  • “It is a frightening thought, that in one fraction of a moment you can fall in the kind of love that takes a lifetime to get over.” – Beau Taplin
  • ” ‘ You can’t love someone unless you love yourself first.’ Bullshit. I have never loved myself. But you… Oh god, I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like.” – My thoughts before I go to sleep.
  • “She reminded him of happiness, he reminded her of home; together, they were happy and at home.” unknown
  • “A relationship works best when both people believe they have got better than they deserve.” – unknown
  • “Sometimes, I think of the sun and the moon as lovers who rarely meet, always chase, and almost always miss one another. But once in a while, they do catch up, and they kiss, and the world stares in awe of their eclipse.” – unkown
  • “It’s somewhat early and she’s fast asleep. It doesn’t bother me because I know that there’s been times she’s laid awake at night unable to find sleep, no longer familiar with what it meant to find rest. The moment she laid on top of me, her head against my chest, her ear to my heart, I ran my fingers through her hair and felt her thighs loosen, symbolic for how relaxed she’d become. Even when her days are chaotic, she comes home to me and I help her find peace. This is love.” – r.h. Sin
  • “When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No don’t blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away.” – Captain Corellis Mandolin
  • “you can always find something beautiful in something destructive and now I finally understand why I’ve always been so fond of you.” – uknown
  • “I think I fall in love with people a little too much, just in the way they sound at 4 am or how they look when they smile. And it’s so addicting, when their eyes light up, because you’ve remembered something they may have said. I think I grow attached to people, who I know, will leave. But I can’t help it, because I see all that you are, when you don’t really see it yourself. And sometimes I wonder how someone’s heart, grows so cold, and I think, that maybe it’s because for a while, it was left out in the rain. You know some days I struggle, when there’s nothing left to say, because I still don’t know how to convince you, that out of everyone, and all the ones that leave, I’m always the one still standing there, with an umbrella, just big enough, to cover your heart.” – c.p.
  • “She knew she loved him when home went from being a place to being a person.” – E Leventhal
  • “I will never be the first of so many things for you. I came too late, after life and love were woven into the tapestry of your existence. I care not about lost firsts, but I will fight, knuckles bloody and teeth sharpened, for your lasts. Take the old firsts and put them to rest, silent below the dirt and ash of all the new ones we will burn through. Take them, but give me the lasts.” – Tyler Knott Gregson
  • “and in the end, we were all just humans, drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
  • “I don’t ask you to love me always like this, but I ask you to remember. Somewhere inside of me there will always be the person I am tonight.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald Tender Is The Night
  • ” ‘The trick, kiddo,’ his mom replies slowly, ‘is finding someone who complements you instead of completes you. You need to be complete on your own.” – unknown
  • “I asked him for it. For the blood, for the rust, for the sin. I didn’t want the pearls other girls talked about, or the fine marble of palaces, or even the roses in the mouth of servants. I wanted pomegranates – I wanted darkness, I wanted him. So I grabbed my king and ran away to a land of death, where I reigned and people whispered that I’d been dragged. I’ll tell you I’ve changed, I’ll tell you, the red on my lips isn’t wine. I hope you’ve heard of horns, but that isn’t half of it. Out of an entire kingdom he kneels only to me, calls me Queen, calls me Mercy. Mama, Mama, I hope you get this. Know the bed is warm and our hearts are cold, know never have I been better that when I am here. Do not send flowers, we’ll throw them in the river. ‘Flowers are for the dead,’ ‘least thats what the mortals say. I’ll come back when he bores me, but Mama, not today.” – Daniella Michallen, “Persephone Speaks”
  • “And I think the thing that terrifies me most is that one day, you’ll be the story I’ll tell my daughter, when she’s curled up in bed, wrapped in blankets and heartbreak, when she hasn’t eaten anything in days but the voicemails he left her, when she hasn’t been able to sleep because the goodbye that broke her shatters her bones all over again every time she closes her fucking eyes. And I’ll climb into bed with her and she’ll lay her head on my lap and I’ll try to brush him out of her hair and her tears will soak through my shirt and I’ll tell her about the boy I met when I was sixteen, who sat next to me in math class, who I fell in love with after two weeks, who saved me, who fucking destroyed me. And I’ll tell her about how it hurt. It hurt so badly it almost killed me. It hurt so badly my mother stopped going to work so she could stay home and make sure I didn’t take too many pills. And then I’ll tell her about how it got better. How it stopped hurting. How I stopped bleeding. My mother went back to work. I got out of bed. But I won’t tell her that sometimes I still have dreams about you and can hardly breathe the next day or about the pictures of you I have hidden in the attic.” – via extrasad
  • “I am not very good at a lot of things; i cannot paint you pictures because the beautiful things in my head cannot be translated  nor can I sing to you as my voice has an uncanny habit of falling flat  nor can I play for you as my fingers fumble when my thoughts cross over to how you look, watching me  but I can brush the knots out of your hair, and work the knots out of your back when your day has become too much to bear  i am not good at much, but I will be good to you. – kpk
Advertisements

One thought on “Where’s the Love? – Why My Boyfriend and I Don’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day

  1. Hi! Yes I agree too much commercialization on hearts day, and christmas too, we stopped the gift giving and Do things together, play cards, scrabble, enjoy some low cost cooking at home or just grab a hug and a smile and not be all wrapped up on the gifts (i do get a wee bit of chocolate once in a while and it seems even better then 😀

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s