Would you like to be my neighbor?

Blogging 101, you perplex me some days. Yesterday and today, for example. If you knew how quiet and reserved I am, you would know that asking me to comment on random stranger’s blog is going to take me a bit to work up the courage. I was never really taught how to make friends, and after being once bitten, twice shy at a young age, I kind of gave up trying.

I have followed several blogs, commented in the Commons, and responded to comments on my own blog. Commenting on someone else’s blog? pssshhh… not so easy. I am inspired by other’s post, without a doubt. I just don’t always feel like what I have to say is important enough to merit a comment. So I have spent today trying to find blogs to comment on, without it looking like I’m trying too hard. Comments that will mean as much as the blog post meant to me.

As I’ve been along for this Blogging 101 journey, I have noticed (or maybe just paid more attention to) bloggers who seem to in the same boat as myself. It seems like we all started this journey because we wanted to – not necessarily because we had a “dream audience” or even a goal. We started our blogs because we could. Because we all have a story to tell and even if no one reads it, we somehow feel better knowing that they could, if they stumbled on it.

Sinead (M.E.) wrote a great blog about this that really inspired me and got me thinking that even if we started this journey with no real goal, no ideal audience, and no voice, we somehow manage to find all three along the way. Personally I feel like that’s a much better way to build an audience and they are probably learning from you whether you realize it or not. Sure, they may not be able to find a particular skill to learn (or they might, who knows?) but maybe they will learn lessons about themselves.

So if you feel like the rest of us (or maybe just me), don’t worry about searching for your voice, audience, or goal. Use your own voice. It’s authentic and easy. Write like you’re writing to yourself, an old friend, or a journal. Make your goal for your blog to make you happy, be something you enjoy, and something you can be proud of. The views, shares, followers and everything else will come in due time.

25 thoughts on “Would you like to be my neighbor?

  1. I was extremely shy as a child too. I still am shy when I first meet people or ocassionally when I am in big crowds of my peers, but it’s gotten easier.

    I had a hard time with the assignment on writing to the ideal audience because I didn’t have one yet. Then, I realized I was my ideal audience for now. I write for me, and I figure there are likely people out there who are similar to me that might find it interesting. It’s nice to have people visit and comment – to know you are not alone in it all. Remember that when you leave a comment. Bloggers, especially new ones, might just honestly be excited that someone is out there listening and commenting.

    When I don’t know what to say in a blog post, I often ask them questions. Maybe they mentioned visiting Paris. I’ll ask what their favorite place was. Then I don’t have to do so much of the talking; I let them talk, and we start a back and forth conversation that way. In the end, I win because I get to know someone a little better, and they win because someone has taken an interest and left a comment.

    So basically, don’t put so much pressure on yourself for leaving the greatest comment in the world. Sometimes a little comment love is just what the author wanted.

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    • That’s a genius idea and very good advice. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I’ve been lurking around wordpress for a little over a year I think, but this is my first time really trying to get involved in the community. So far, the reception has been great and it’s helped encourage me to branch out a little farther and meet more neighbors.
      I do tend to put too much pressure on myself so I will have to try and cut myself a little slack. Thank you!

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  2. I have an image in my head of a man in a sweater, singing about how it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

    I have kind of the same problem commenting on others’ blogs, I always wonder if the comment really contributes anything to the other blogger, or the people reading it. But I love getting comments on my blog, so I figure that most people are the same as me that way.

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    • Good. That’s what I was going for. πŸ™‚ I think we all crave some comments, whether it’s for feed back or just to let us know that we aren’t alone and someone gets it. I just want to feel like my comments are more than just “good post!”. lol

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      • Even just “Good post” is much appreciated. Of course, if you can say why you liked it, what about it struck a chord with you, how it connects to your own life or experiences or thoughts, that’s even better. But even a heartfelt “good one!” means a lot to those of us who wonder if anyone reads our writing.

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      • This is very true! As someone who has just started really getting comments after starting blogging 101, I should remember how nice it was to just get a “nice post!” comment. Thank you for reminding me that those can be meaningful and encouraging as well.

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  3. Totally agree with you! I’ve found doing blogging101 has made it easier for me to go and comment on other blogs without feeling so shy about doing so. And also agree with the ‘blogging for yourself’ idea – makes it something I look forward to everyday. I blog daily as a challenge to myself; gaining followers is just a perk!

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    • Gaining followers is definitely a perk and I think it can help you focus if you’re scattered while trying to write. I started this blog as more of a journal and it just sort of continues that way. Blogging 101 has certainly helped me meet some neighbors – one, quite literally, as she is from my town!

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  4. I agree with you in so many ways. This blogging 101 adventure has been great. Improved my site, made some friends and learned to move more easily into sharing what I write. It was something I kept to myself. So, yes, I love what you had to say about writing for ourselves as if it were a dear friend and making blogs our own comfortable place and that everything will fall in place with the rest of it. You had excellent advice on commenting as well. Thank you for a beautiful post.

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    • I’m glad to know I’m not the only one it’s helped. I kept my writing to myself before as well. And oddly, only one of my friends (the one I started the blog to help keep up with) even knows about my blog. I’m glad you enjoyed it. It was as much for everyone else as it was to remind myself to not try too hard. Natural always seems to work best because you are comfortable and at ease and that translates to your readers. You’re welcome and I hope you keep reading! Thank you for your kind words.

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  5. I also find it hard to comment on blogs, as I am a very private person. But I will have a go and keep practising. The best time for me to write is after 6pm, I am not a morning person.

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    • I’m not much for writing in the morning either. I usually do my blogging after work, which tends to be after 7 or 8pm once I’m all settled for the night and ready to relax.
      Keep practicing! It’s hard for me too but I think the more you put yourself out there, the easier you will find it. πŸ™‚

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  6. Hello, I’d love to be your neighbour! It’s so true , it’s primarily about blogging for yourself. Personally it’s my outlet , a place I can go to away from my daily life. A very beautifully written post.

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    • Then welcome to the neighborhood Arpita! We are glad to have you. It’s been an outlet for me too, a great way for me to try and sort though all the crazy thoughts that float around in my head all day. Writing them helps me find my center and organize them so they don’t drive me nuts!
      Feel free to drop by any time. πŸ™‚

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  7. Ya I actually have been feeling a little pressure/skeptical about my posts, worrying that my audience wouldn’t like it. But honestly I think writing for myself is mostly why I’m here. This post proved that we’re all sailing the same boat, we’re definitely neighbors.

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    • Me too! I’m way too hard on myself. When I forget about my audience and just write what’s on my own or like I’m writing to a friend I don’t get to talk to every day, the words tend to flow easier.
      I’m glad to be in such good company. πŸ™‚

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  8. That’s very sound advice, just be yourself. Yourself is awesome and we’d all love to know what you have to say. If I see a comment from you on my blog one day, I will be honoured to have received it now I realise the effort it would have taken to make it. I’d never really looked at it in this way before, hadn’t realised it could be so hard. Thank you for sharing with us.

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